Krazzykidds MPF App

Steam Name:

Krazzykidd

Steam ID:

STEAM_0:0:34877571

Requested Unit Digits (5):

53397

How long have you been roleplaying?

Just over a year

Do you have any past experience roleplaying as a Civil Protection Unit?
Yes

What lead your character to join the Metropolice Force?

His hatred for the Combine. His objective was to get to a high enough rank to cause chaos from within, but he's lost sight of his original objective, and is becoming less man, and more of a combine tool.

What are your character's personality traits? (Personality and mentality.)

Generally preferring solitude, he doesn't like talking. He has become efficient his job, even though he takes no enjoyment from it. When he does talk, it's normally quick and to the point. Occasionally he'll open up to someone and will talk to them more frequently, but he often doesn't. He dislikes being off duty because it highlights his faults, and his injuries he received from surviving the 7 hour war.

Write a Background Story (App. 2+ Paragraphs) of your character's life, and how they got into their current situation:

Zachary Tompson was not a social person. He didn't enjoy company, not that he ever got any. He loathed going to his job, where he'd sit cramped in a tiny cubicle typing away all day. One of the few times in life where he felt content with his life was when he went on his tri-monthly camping trips. In the wilderness where he was alone, with the sounds of nature, and the crack of the fire was the only time he felt relaxed. This one little pittance of enjoyment, was taken away, along with the other freedoms of humanity. Barely surviving the 7 hour war, Zack sustained injuries scarring his body from his face, to his right bicep, and damaging his throat. His upbringing was average, He went through High School, College, then got stuck in a dead end job.

The single unusual thing about his upbringing being his size. By 5th grade, he was 5”7. He hit his highest peak in highschool, reaching the height of 6”3’. His large frame made him an interest in the schools teams, such as the football team. But during a vacation up north, he injured his knee, swiftly ending any chance to become a football star. Taking the safer route in life, he became an accountant at a small banking firm. Post seven hour war, having lost his ability to speak, went through a difficult stage in his life. Even though he wouldn’t choose to speak to anyone if he could, it made his life more difficult when dealing with the Cps.
During his difficulties that The Civil Protection, it created a deep seeded hatred for them inside him. He despised them, demanding answers from him, while he clearly couldn’t speak, it caused him insufferable amounts of anger. Eventually, he began to weave a plan in his head. What if, he could find a way to hurt them.. hurt them all, and hard... from the inside. He brewed over this idea for a good year and half, before making his way down to the recruitment office.

Now he's lost his path from his original plan. He enjoys the power he has over people. He enforces the laws ruthlessly, and efficiently. But in the back of his head, a little voice is still nagging him. It's nagging him to continue his plan, but he's not sure if he want to hurt fight them anymore.



Provide an example of passive roleplay as a Civil Protection Unit (App 2+ Paragraphs):

MPF-UNION-04.53397 lets out a frustrated “growl” his vocoder distorting his sigh
MPF-HELIX-03.43154 says “You need to relax, nothing’s going on”
MPF-UNION-04.53397 says “I know. It makes me uneasy”
MPF-UNION-04.53397 turns looking down the alleyway
MPF-HELIX-03.43154 says “Fifty-three, Relax. It’s a slow day. Just keep an eye out and nothing’ll happen”
** Two more units come to relieve them from their post

** Helix and Union make their way to the nexus
MPF-UNION-04.53397 fiddles with his stunstick
MPF-UNION-04.53397 says “It’s hasn’t been working right, I think the switch is getting stuck. I think I have to get a new one....”
MPF-HELIX-03.43154 chuckles taking the stun stick from Union
MPF-HELIX-03.43154 whaps it against the wall twice, and hands it back to Union
MPF-UNION-04.53397 takes it back, cunfused and flicks the switch finding it working
MPF-UNION-04.53397 says “....”
MPF-UNION-04.53397 says “How the hell..?”
MPF-HELIX-03.43154 says “Haha. When in doubt hit it agianst something. Just don’t tell Vice I did that.”
MPF-UNION-04.53397 says “Haha.”




In-Character Information



Name: Zachary Tompson

Citizen Identification Digits: 95878

Age: 46

Weight: 209

Height: 6”3’

Hair Color: Blond

Eye Color: Brown

Ethnicity: Caucasian

Gender: Male

Distinguishing Marks:
Numerous Scars, arcing from the top of the skull to approximately the mid Bicep.
Damage to the vocal cords. [u]*Issued one standard union vocoder. Citizen supplied the necessary funds*[/u]

Detainment History:
Several Inconclusive Investigations stating that I was hindering civil protection investigations.



Please mark one with a ✔

Are you currently a member of the Civil Workers’ Union?

Yes __ No ✔


Please mark one with a ✔

Have you committed any crimes against the Universal Union? If so, list them below.

Yes __ No ✔

>>


Please mark one with a ✔

Have you been a member or supporter of any armed forces? If so, list them below.

Yes __ No ✔
>>


Explain briefly, why you wish to become a member of the Civil Protection service:

>> The laws and rules are being loosely enforced by weak units that have no regard for the situations of the cities, as long as their situations are safe. The Union needs to strike a mesage burned into the ideals of the citizens.



Signature: Zachery Tompson



-MPF-SeC.45572,

City Fourty Five Sectorial Commander



-Mitchell Donson,

City Forty Five Administrator

The edits are just me fixin some errors

I overall like it, but there are a some effey things.


For one, while the backstory goes in quite some depth on "What" the character is, it doesn't go onto "How" the character is. I would like to hear more in the backstory about how he likes to deal with situations, kinda like how you explained it in his personality traits section.


Also while the marks and detaining history is a cool thing you decided to do, it will be quite the experience trying to RP getting the position with those flaws xP. Not saying it isn't bad that you spiced things up. Just unique.


That's really it. I liked the RP example, as it shows that you are capable of something more then just standing around waiting for some action. Way better then mine xP.


Overall good.


And yus I have been hanging out with Duckhead too much...

Man, you make it sound like you are the main reviewer for these applications now, lol.

Sinic wrote:Man, you make it sound like you are the main reviewer for these applications now, lol.

Well... can I reply to these? x3


Overall I just wanna help, since you know you can't respond to every thread xD.

Duckhead's the one that does the reviewing, and he can respond to every thread, just he doesn't always have the time for it.

Daw...sowwy :c.

-support "6'9""

Is that the size of your monster cock?

Mitch wrote:-support "6'9""

Mitch did you even read the backstory at al-

Holy fuck...



That is FUCKING TALL, like I don't even think that is realistically tall at all, that's like Slenderman height right there.

Spencer you should stick to making very nice CPs, not huge trying-to-be-horribly-overpowered CPs, it just seemingly doesn't work out right for you.

Augmented



Spencers CP is Augmented.

OH GOD THAT'S FUCKING DEMONIC SINIC!
I'm fucking changing that... Oh lawdy what was I thinkin?

why the fuck did you even pick 6'9 as your height anyways? are you retarded?

Yeesh, this is a tough one.

Let's see... the psychological description is pretty damn boring. "Strong silent type" trope, it seems. A little goofy, to be honest, but we'll see.

The reason for joining the MPF makes no goddamn sense. It would be fine if he authentically wanted to bring down the UU, or didn't. But this strange grey-area that you seem to be planning to enter is kind of worrisome. Rather than planning exactly what you want your character to do when you are whitelisted ahead of time, actually create a three-dimensional character, who will effectively make their own choices based on their personality when the time comes as novelists do, otherwise your character will promptly lose purpose and become boring.. Don't make the character a plot device, make them a plot element.

The background story is a mess, sequentially speaking. You start with his hating a job, jump back to the fifth grade, jump forward to high school, jump forward to the seven hour war, jump back to his schooling and career, and so on. The first paragraph is a confusing pile of rubbish. As for the second paragraph, his height should not be the central element of his personality, just as a female character should not revolve entirely around her breasts. And the seven hour war resulting in injuries? Unless you were in a direct combat zone (in which case you would be in several places at once, and also dead), a civilian would likely not sustain any related injuries. Unless he comically fell down a flight of stairs and into a smokey room due to being startled by the sight of a portal, I can't conceive of why he would be so grievously injured as a non-combatant. Either way, that should not be a central component to the character either. After all that rubbish, you start to get somewhere interesting. The idea that he developed a hatred for the CPs and intended to destroy them from within their ranks would have been an amazing way to get a small storyline rolling, but then it seems like you chicken out and decide to make him half-heartedly loyal. You can't have both, and it would have served you a lot better to just pick loyalty or rebellion and stick with it.

The roleplay example is boring, and shows an understandably limited comprehension of the stunstick and electronics in general that you probably would have done better to simply not draw attention to.

209 pounds? Holy shit. I'm not far from that height, and I don't quite weigh that much. Add half a decade of poor food and probably a lot of pretty nasty diseases and I don't think he would be 209 pounds. Not that it really matters.

Being unable to speak does not make you unable to work, so the UU would have just about no incentive to give you a vocoder. Installing it with an advanced medical procedure is just more than any one citizen is worth, really.

And the rest is pretty unremarkable. So you've got a pretty big load of negatives on your plate, there, and the only extreme positive was potential for a really interesting character which you kind of threw away.

You should have let me tell you this stuff over Skype.

Denied.

I'll try again later

I would give him a chance if he stayed with his iconic nice-guy CP that he used to use in Nova, the last thing I really want Spencer to make is a hating and seemingly overpowered character, I think it is rather impossible for him to pull that off, seeing how he went from hating the CPs to somehow being loyal to them, and how difficult is was to have him make an Empire character in SWTOR that would mainly choose Dark Side choices.

Only reason I love him as a CP is for his positive approaches as a normal human being under a suit rather than a total badass that's acting like they are a Combine soldier, or maybe it's the fact that I like to get on my CP to kill off whoever he is trying to generously help out just because the citizen has a bit of mental retardation or just being senile.

Krazzykidd: "Here sir, I'll take you to your apartment."
Old Man: "Thank you... yo-you're much nicer than the rest of the-"
** The old man gets shot in the head by a pistol. Afterwards, Sinic walks by.
Sinic: Amputated, 10-103M, continuing patrol.
Krazzykidd: :(

I like that more than:

Old Man: "He-Hello sir... can you t-tell me where the apa-ap-apartments a-"
Krazzykidd: "HULK SMASSSSH, HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!oneoneelventy1!one!"
** Krazzykidd proceeds to break the old man's leg.
** Sinic backs up slowly from the scene.

One thing for sure is, place him in the UNION division if he ever gets in, not HELIX, he got into HELIX somehow despite he knows less of medical RP than me, and trust me, you don't want me to try and fix that broken bone of yours.